In
a couple of weeks, a decision may be announced on the divorce suit
filed by Rev. Anita Oyakhilome against her husband Rev. Chris
Oyakhilome, the President of Christ Embassy church.The
couple’s first daughter Sharon Oyakhilome, took to Twitter a few hours
ago to post a cryptic message which seemingly appears to support her
mother’s divorce decision. Her tweets appear to be similar to the case
Rev. Anita Oyakhilome cited in the divorce papers where she stated that
her husband had been away for the most part of their marriage.
Anita
According to the divorce documents:
“The
wife(Anita) will say that they have lived separately for 16 years and
over this time have drifted apart. The wife has come to realise that the
husband will only visit the UK for annual church programmes that he
holds rather than to be with this wife.
“The wife feels that he
has been unavailable as a father to their children during their
developing years. The wife feels that their marriage suffered under the
pressure of their work. They would rarely spend time together due to the
husband unavailability. Special occasions such as Christmas, Birthdays
and family occasions and anniversaries past them by and their rarely
spent any time together as a family as the husband was more devoted to
his work than he was to them.”
Menwhile, another Christ Embassy church member, has penned a thought-provoking article in defence of Rev. Anita Oyakhilome.
Read:
In Defence of Anita Oyakhilome
“Anita
Oyakhilome, the frustrated wife of Nigeria’s most flamboyant preacher,
Chris Oyakhilome has obviously passed through 15 years of adulterous
endurance and what she needs is our prayers and protective respect and
defense of her choices to forget all the anti-rhapsody of heartbreak she
endured all these years.
Fifteen(15) years of being abandoned by
a preacher husband is not an easy way of lifefor a preacher’s wife.
Fifteen (15) years of hearing that some mini skirted daughters of
Jezebel have taken over your possession is not a joke. Fifteen years of a
husband not staying with the wife for up to a week on a stretch,while
spending time with some double breasted figure eight(ed) daughters of
eve is not an easy thing to swallow. 15 years of being used as a
showcase to make church members believe in Rhapsodies of Blissful Union,
while dying in silence,is not a palatable experience for any woman.
Fifteen
years of being called Mama, Mummy, and other glorified names of Senior
Pastor’swife while some domestic harems sneer at the same Mummy behind
is not a sweet experience. For goodness sake, this woman never probably
had a good kiss in fifteen years and yet she is being accused of
carnality for crying out loud.She was continually being led into
temptation of seeking for sexual satisfaction from outside for fifteen
years and she managed to escape the traps of sin.
Fifteen years
when their two lovely daughters would wake up and ask their mother why
Dad had not cared to visit, and she would have to release a lie to stave
off the frequent probing questions. Above all, fifteen years when Anita
had to fake that all is well with their marriage, while she is actually
dying emotionally. Every person she complained to among the pastoral
cadre sided with the man, and she was left alone to bear her cross.
I
warned some pastor friends with Christ Embassy early 2013 that they had
better settle this marriage rift between Oga and his wife before it
destroys the church. The same pastors have called me to express regret
that a national embarrassment has ensued.
This woman has been
called Jezebel by some pastors and members of the church. Some claimed
she was disrespectful while others claimed she was always bitter of
recent.They have tried to castigate her before members of the church who
came in private to ask for the way out. She was described as
unreasonable and insubordinate.
Her husband, according to news
reports has even followed to cast her in bad light.According to Pastor
Chris Oyakhilome, “Bitterness is prolonged and accumulate danger. My
wife is always angry and bitter,” Going further he told his members to
“Be careful of the friends you keep. My wife keeps friends who bring out
the worst in her and help her see the worst in people, instead of
keeping friends that will help her vision, especially as the wife of a
global pastor like me.”
Please,which preacher woman who has been
abandoned for fifteen years will not be bitter and angry? Was Anita
expected to clap and dance while some hot legs are parading around the
White House?
This pastor’s wife was also disclaimed by her
husband who told his congregants in reaction to the divorce saga that
Anita is not necessarily a Woman of God.According to Pastor Oyakhilome
“Don’t act like those people. If you are married to a man of God, it
doesn’t make you automatically mature. You can make mistakes; you can do
something that is wrong. But some people expect the wife of a minister
to definitely be at the level of that minister and so they may be looked
upon and the expectation may be like that, but it’s a positional
thing”.He clarified his theory by saying that “If a man of God is
married, it doesn’t automatically mean that the wife of a man of God is
therefore a woman of God.
That’s not the way it is in the Bible.”
Pastor Chris also added that “That’s why you don’t really find the
wives of men of God mentioned in the Bible. How many of them? Who was
Peter’s wife, did you ever know her name? You never find that out. Who
was John’s wife? Did you ever read the name? What about all theother
Apostles? How many of their names are written in the Bible. You never
find their names.”
Anita Oyakhilome actually proved that she has
fear of God in the manner she worded her divorce plea. She opted to use
the word “inappropriate relationship with female staff members” instead
of out rightly accusing her husband of adultery.According to the
statement, “the wife has discussed with the husband his appropriate
relationship with some of his female staff members. She has explained
that this has given her cause for concern. The husband has minimised her
worries and taken no step to alleviate her grievances.”
Anita
Oyakhilome could have said that her husband abandoned her and ran into
the arms of sister A or B, or gospel singer C or D and left her roasting
and murmuring in the house. Anita could have said that her husband is a
hypocrite who says a thing and means another, but she veiled her
grievances of years of abandonment by saying in the divorce file that
“The wife feels that she has been used to portray and enhance the
husband’s image as a family man when the reality is that there is no
existing relationship between them. She feels that she has been present
for official functions simply for his convenience.
On occasions
she has been copied into his travel itinerary which has been given to
him by his staff on a need to know basis”. “The wife has tried to
discuss her concernswith the husband. He claims that she is carnal and
he is insensitive to her feelings and her needs.”
Thus Anita had
acted with much restraint in order to preserve the integrity of Christ
Embassy and the work of evangelism, and all she got for her discretion
was hate messages all many sections of church members who wanted her to
sacrifice her marriage to keep them in a rhapsody of deceit.
This
woman, according to the testimony of many British residents who attend
their church, is one person who is always willing to give gifts to the
needy. She is ever ready to counsel people and does not breed class. She
is a patient listener who laboriously introduced many things in the
church for which the glory goes to her husband. Londoners believe that
she is not that demon theywant to portray her as. Those who know her
closely have attested to an affectionate good naturedness and stickler
for details.
Whatsoeverthing some misguided church members want
to think, Anita had lived a lie formany years. Anita was said to have
became born again at believers Loveworldcampus fellowship at Ambrose
Alli University Ekpoma, while Chris was thepastor. She had probably paid
her dues as a Christian and knows what it is todeceive the
congregation. She cannot deceive herself and the church anymorethus she
opted for divorce. Divorce, according to scripture is unbiblical, but
between deceiving a congregation that already knows the truth but
pretends otherwise and staying in unfulfilled marriage, which is better.
It is a matter between her and her conscience.
Last year, a
Nigerian personality blogger by name Ese Walter was lured by her Senior
Pastor in Abuja into a cozy hotel bed space in London and after two
weeks of adultery, the man cleaned up, returned to Nigeria and told his
congregation to shout some Hallelujah. The sin partner was arrested by
the Holy Spirit and she sought a meeting with the COZA Chief to resolve
the burden of guilt. She was continually shunned and described as agent
of satan even by other senior pastors in the church until she turned the
internet into the confessional. Ese Walter freed her conscience and
probably escaped eternal damnation but the entire Christendom took the
brunt of the exposure.
Pope Benedict made several attempts to
stop the incidences of homosexual pedophiles among priest and leaders in
the Vatican. His attempts were rebuffed by a cabal of officials who
resisted probe and pious change. In exasperation, the Pontiff abandoned
the Papacy and triggered the change that is being forced down on the
resisting cabal. Pope Benedict freed his conscience and left with clean
records before his God.
Anita has chosen to free herself from a
life of deceit and lies. The truth had set her free. However, I still
counsel her that if the misbehaving preacher husband demonstrates a
verifiable change of heart, she should consider him back and so that
somebody can shout some more Hallelujah. Fifteen years of adulterous
endurance in the midst of charismatic rhapsody is not easy and Anita
Oyakhilome sure needs all the defense and understanding she can get- Let
somebody shout a better Hallelujah!”
Writer: Obinna Akukwe
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