Hello everyone, I am a male, a ceo, an executive director and a contracted staff for two different companies, in as much as my busy schedules get the best parts of my time, I still create time to address the important things in my life hence, I’m also a huge fan of the important and useful news of this blog.
I’m in my early 30’s, a silent millionaire, unmarried and I would like to give my own version of my 2-cents in this “single, married, independent, dependent, somewhere in-between, not-sure-of-where-I-stand-yet” bruh-ha-ha of the female species and how you generalize the male folk in a very serious series of assumptions but yet, comical lifestyle.
I read the letters of both the
single and married women to detail and I can tell you for a fact that you women
(whether single or married) are the ignition to our drive, you either help us
build the dream or destroy it and by dream, I mean the game plan of how, where
and what we do with each other for now or the future. We didn’t wake up to
start misbehaving, it is your inability to supply the help we need [hence the
Biblical passage of you being referred to as “our helper”] that sets things
messy on the long run.
You see, we are insatiable to the
bone, we live for three things: MONEY, POWER, SEX – finish. If we as men cheat
on you, that’s ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, and for so many reasons – For the married
women: When we first spotted you, you were fresh, yummy, intelligent (not all
of you sha) and possessed a killer model-body frame [yes we fall for what we
feed our eyes on]. We did all to get you, we married you and we fed our
fantasies until……….when you stopped, you gave birth and it didn’t occur to you
that staying in shape was one of the things that turned us on in you, why then
look like an egg-roll all of a sudden after a couple of kids? Now you can’t
lift a leg anymore and you complain that we complain, listen up sweethearts, do
you notice that the other lady(ies) we cheat on you with are mainly younger and
IN SHAPE? When it comes to our sex, don’t cut us short, we want you to play out
all our fantasies, be our lover, our prostitute, our naughty nurse, our
run-to-girl, our stripper…..yes, you can be all that bundled into one person. I
tell you ladies that when your man is fed with these alter egos of you, he will
dare NOT cheat cos not all women are like you and the thought of you giving it
good to another nigger cos you guys split will haunt him all his life, no man
wants to leave a bad b*tch / good woman.
This is just one of the many reasons
why we cheat, others include……when you…..
·
Double date /
Get gifts from your ‘uncles’ / Sleep around for the fun of it / Lie consistently / All you do is ask for money / Cos we can’t buy you Gucci /
Wink at another dude / You're talentless / You're an olodo / Can’t cook / Bad breath / hygiene / Bad English / Bleach / Argue uselessly……….etc
Now, I earlier said we live for three things, now
here are three things we want in one woman:
1.
A woman who’s street smart, a lady
who knows business and can hold her man’s business in his absence (quick tip) –
Save the cash your man gives you from time to time, snuggle up to him one cozy
night, show him the cash and say these words: “Honey, here’s the thing, I want
to start a biz that can be an asset in our future, I know quite a bit but I
want you to school me, *present the cash* here’s quite an amount I saved from
the cash you’ve been giving me”. Sweetheart, you just swept yo man off his feet
and turned him on, the sex that night will be legendary. I assure you he will
go out of his way to make you his only woman.
2.
A woman who can cook. My lawd, if
all you know how to cook is indomie, just die. It is true that the way to our
hearts is via our tummies.
3.
Finally, you’ve got to go all out on
the love making, I explained this earlier. You’ve got to be a freak in the
sheets, why else do you think we cheat on you? We want to be fed, it is very
possible for us to stick to yo’ confused angry asses, if we close from work by
5pm, we’ll defy gravity to close by 1pm. If you don’t know how to be a bad
b*tch to us, follow kim kardashian and see why kanye wants to die there.
N/B: We love freaky ish and we listen to good girls who talk dirty,
that’s why we cheat , cos these thots give us what you refused to give us.
As
for the independent woman who
said we owe you loyalty cos we married you, excuse you? Sorry boo, we
paid your
bride price, you owe us loyalty with some change by the side, if we
cheat, we
ain’t doing it with goats, we doing this with your species, you on the
other
hand are the ones that my species hunt, we are not to blame, you are to
blame
cos you ain't loyal to yo man, you want free KFC but won't work for your
own cash, you were lazy at some point, do you talk to us about it? Do
you indulge us
as a couple?
An independent woman doesn’t need a
man to give her things in order to be comfortable, HE PROVIDES, RELIEVES HER OF
STRESS AND HIS PRESENCE IS A BONUS to her life. We as men deserve your best
when we provide for you (it’s not the same as dash) and if you are in it cos of
what you can get from us, then STFU when karma taps your behind.
Lastly,
this is a shout out to the real hardworking ladies that are out there
keeping the rep strong, the real women who can hold real men down, those
who can turn a house into a home, those who will stand by their men no
matter what, those who know the value of their worth, those who can turn
down expensive gifts without batting an eyelid, you are the real women
that make real men blush.
Enjoy your day folks.
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